Image credit: shutterstock.com/PintoArt

We have all dealt with someone who is mentally ill. So, if I feel empathy for him, should I feel sympathy for him? There is a mentally ill person out on the street, screaming at no one in particular, violently pushing over trash bins, scattering his shopping cart full of personal effects into the sidewalk, stripping down to shorts and barefoot, urinating on the base of tree trunks, smearing feces into a Styrofoam cup, and leaving it by the bus stop bench.

Would I feel empathy for him? And the answer is, “Yes!” I would sense the utter frustration with life he feels, being in a position where nothing and no one is helping him, “sick and tired of being sick and tired,” as they say, and stuck in the revolving door (i.e., released from the hospital only to return due to relapse or lack of support). It would be painful for me to watch him do all this, knowing that I had once been there.

But would I feel sympathy for him? And the answer is, “No!” His diagnosis is an explanation, not an excuse, for his behavior. True, I had every advantage: loving family, close friends, lots of money, plenty of time, the best doctors…But had I alienated my family, renounced my friends, frittered the money away, not worked on myself in therapy, and not taken the medication as prescribed, then I would be on the streets, just like that guy.

And by the way, I did know certain people on the road to recovery who were in even worse shape than I was. They did not have family, friends, money, time, nor insurance. But they recovered! They encouraged me to be the best I could be. They were not jealous but instead were kind admirers of my possessions. And they shared their free time, wise advice, the grapevine about other patients, and their experiences with certain doctors.

After an experience like that, some witnesses would be moved to help, while others would turn their backs in cold indifference. Contrary to my feelings, some onlookers might not feel empathy but were moved to feel sympathy. Empathy and sympathy are important to mental health recovery, not just one or the other. There are people much better than I who can bridge the two feelings. I would take a bullet for them because I owe them my life.

Image credit: shutterstock.com/PintoArt